Milestones

Scotlen attended her first dance class today. I was so excited, having danced as a child myself. Scotlen loves to dance around the house, so I knew, just knew, that she would love dance class. We arrived, and she was a little shy, but gamely joined the rest of the class and sat in a line. So cute were these girls - the little leotards, the puffy tutus, the tiny tap shoes. We smiled and waived at each other through the window as the class started.

Then Scotlen's name was called, and the nice lady came over to show her how to shuf-fle, step, shuf-fle step. And you know how you can be typing away on your computer, and everything is fine, and then, all of a sudden, things just completely shut down and the screen goes black? Well, that's what happened to Scotlen. A complete shut down. She bowed her head, stared at the floor, and refused to move. Eventually, I was called into the room to hold her and watch as the other kids shuf-fle stepped across the floor.

I reasoned. I cajoled. I bribed. I threatened. I tried everything I could think of to get her to join in. And then, holding onto only the tiniest shreds of pride and dignity, I took her hand and we went together onto the dance floor. I was my most enthusiastic self. A gigantor woman wearing Timberland boots, no less, in a line of tiny ballerinas. I shuf-fle stepped. I jumped side to side. I shimmied. I might as well have trumpeted like a dancing elephant because I sure looked like one. I tried not to look over at the other mothers through the window, who were undoubtedly either horrified or in stitches. I think Scotlen's feet may have moved a little bit, but I would not call it dancing.

So we left. Early. In shame. I was so disappointed. I tried to hide it, but it didn't work. I mean, what is wrong with me? Of course she was overwhelmed and intimidated. All the other girls have been in the class for months. They all know what they're doing. She just didn't want to mess up. I think the part that bothered me the most was that I saw the same paralyzing fear of failure in her that was such a big part of my life growing up. You want to give your children all the best parts of you - not pass on the weaknesses. When I told Scotlen I had to go to work after we got home, she said "I'll go back and dance if you stay home, Mama." And then my heart broke.

So we went home and had lunch and watched videos from when Scotlen was "little" - one of her favorite activities. She soon announced that she wanted to dance, and then proceeded to do all the steps that had intimidated her in front of the group. I took Scotlen to a class, but it was I who learned an important lesson about patience and understanding.

I did make sure to get out of the house before the children were due for their first round of the H1N1 vaccine. I didn't want to be personally associated with two tragedies in the same day. Scotlen came up with a new strategy on this trip to the doctor. If they can't find you, they can't give you a shot:

You may be asking yourself, "don't you have another child - why is Jonas always an afterthought in these blurbs?" Well, rest assured, I have several important milestones to report on the J-man. Here's a list of his "firsts" from this week:

1. Playing IN the toilet.

2. Attempting to chew on an electrical outlet.

3. Exposing himself to the dogs.