Episode II

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. . .

Episode II

The Parents Strike Back

Turmoil has engulfed the Reynolds Republic. The taxation of Halloween candy is in dispute.

Hoping to resolve the matter with temper tantrums, the greedy Rebel children have given up all pretense of civility.

While the Stormtrooper endlessly debates the matter of whether the white on his boots clashes with the white on his helmet, Darth Vader has secretly dispatched a new Sith apprentice to decisively end the conflict. . .

Grand-darth Maul arrives on the scene, ready to impart some of her old-school discipline.

A battle ensues

Darth Vader is forced to join the fight when it becomes clear that Grand-darth Maul is hampered by her bifocals

Anakin pleads with Yoda to join the battle, trying to describe just how ferocious the fighting has become, but he is too busy with his fan club, consisting of Harry Potter, Hannah Montana, and Spiderman

Yoda, realizing he does not yet have the ability to walk, caves to Vader's threat of Passie-Destruction and agrees to an outrageous Halloween candy tax of 55%. "Eat candy, I cannot anyway."

Anakin is ashamed of Yoda's weakness, but realizes she is outnumbered. Following the deal, she tells Spiderman, "don't ever get a sidekick, all they do is give away your candy, steal your toys, and drool on your clothes."

Luckily, this year's trick-or-treating yields so much candy that the taxation point is moot and everyone is happy.

A tenuous peace rests lightly over the galaxy like a dusting of sprinkles on a cupcake. It is only a matter of time before the stomp of a foot or the lilt of a whine shatters the tranquility. We have come to realize however, that these battles mean only that there is balance in the force. Without the fighting spirit of these Rebel Children, we would only be a fashion-frustrated Stormtrooper and a Sith Lord with sadly limited opportunities for humiliation. We hope the force was with you this Halloween 2009.